Limericks

by Ron Tacchi (GBR)

Unpublished limericks from Bermuda

There was a young girl from Bermuda
Whose signals grew ruder and ruder
So South said "No more play
We'll engage in foreplay"
And out of the room he pursued her
Neville Moses

There was a young girl from Bermuda
Who liked to play bridge on her computer
While surfing the net
A young lad she met
Alas for him, twas the mouse who seduced her
Tony Saunders

A Bermudian girl was perplexed
Whose boyfriend seemed oddly vexed
"Your card play is fine
And your bidding's divine
But for my taste you're quite oversexed"
George Tornay

A Bermudian girl had a bust
Which inspired many men to great lust
She was generally afeared
But when Zia appeared
She said "Oh, please proceed if you must"
George Tornay

A girl from Bermuda demurred
With directors with whom she conferred
"I shouldn't be hurt
By my partner's alert
Since I bid like it never occurred"
George Tornay

There was a young girl from Bermuda
Whose breeding and status imbued her
With manners and wit
Of an ipper class twit
No matter, the men still pursued her
Cecily Kohler

There was a young girl from Bermuda
Who impressed me so much that I wooed her
I would explain what came next
But they censored my text
Because it got cruder and cruder
Sean O'Lubaigh

There was a young lady from Bermuda
Whose twenty ex-partners all sued her
"Non-performance" they claimed
"She should be ashamed"
But the judge's remarks were much lewder
Grattan Endicott

There was a young girl from Bermuda
Whose opponents one levels confused her
She tried Michaels and Ghestem
Then natural to best them
That approach was effective if cruder
Seamus Dowling

There was a young girl from Bermuda
Who strolled by the sea with her tuba
As she played a C scale
She sighted a quail
That had flown all the way from Aruba
Virgil Anderson