Championship Diary

Patrick Jourdain has delivered some announcements for the late arrivals at the VuGraph Commentators Ball.

Mr & Mrs Esse and their son, Fin.

Fin's schoolteachers cannot agree on his progress. His maths teacher describes him as Backward, his philosophy report says he is Deep. Another boy who looks very like Fin has the nickname Double Fin Esse.

Tim Chanter sent his effort by email:

Mr and Mrs Hubble are proud to present their twin daughters Dee Hubble (who usually wants to be taken out) and Rita Dee Hubble.

Mr Dar Es Salaam is proud to present his ageing mother Gran Dar Es Salaam

Mr and Mrs K'not-Rump present both their diminuitive son, wee K'not-Rump, and their equally diminuitive Spanish adoptive son, wee K'Juan-not-Rump.

Harvey Fox mentions Mr & Mrs Acol and their son Benjy.

Barry Rigal is there with Mr & Mrs Skewbid and their son, Michael Skewbid. (When he uses a trampoline they call him Leaping Michael Skwebid.)

Maureen Hiron's suggestion is: Mr & Mrs Squeeze – unfortunately their son, Show Up, who was also invited, did not arrive.

England's Kitty Teltscher has taken a room at the Palacio so her team can relax between matches.

When she checked in she asked for eight keys. The receptionist, without batting an eyelid said 'I assume Madame will require a double bed?'

You will recall yesterday's headline – 'Bracketts taking Shape.' When Ton Kooijman arrived in the morning the copy he saw had part of the first word obscured and he thought it was 'Hacketts taking Shape.'

Overheard in the Press Room:

Patrick Jourdain. ' Maureen (Dennison) and I are incompatible – she has no USB port and I don't have a floppy drive'.

Our reporter resisted from making the obvious comment that he would feel even worse if she had had a USB port and his drive was floppy...'